Life is so uncertain knowing that we often take it for granted. Past few years, have experienced a lot of close people falling out of my life. The death of someone close to us leaves us shocked with grief. We cannot understand how one minute this person was here and the next they are gone. The truth is that those we love are never truly gone. The body may have run its course, but the soul lives forever. Human beings have been cognizant of eternal life since the beginning of time. Every culture has its own traditions about death and reincarnation. The anxiety commonly felt about death in our culture is a result of a scientific schema which says that “if I don’t see it, it’s not there.”
I never truly knew what it is “The Death”. The very first death that I witnessed was of my grandfather who is still very dear to me and I always look up to him for all the love and care that he showered on us and continues. At the age of 24, understanding death and living with the loss was only possible with the spiritual touch that I got from my family. Losing family members forever is like losing a part of yourself. In the following years, I lost two very young cousins one with a sudden cardiac arrest at the age of 30 and one self-destructive death at the age of 21. And now very recently my dad left us. I feel so unfortunate for not having him on life’s journey ahead. All girls are dad’s princesses, nothing can be worse than not having a father. The days following were the darkest and bleakest I have ever known. The pain was unbearable as if someone had taken out my heart and was stamping all over it. They complete you and now that they are not with you physically, there’s void, there’s this incompleteness that cannot be filled with anything else than them. Just one more day with them and I will shower all the love that is left unsaid, untouched, unheard.
But I have always appreciated death. It’s the ultimate truth, the reality. And no one knows when it’s coming, anyone can be next, there’s no gender, no age bar, no class identification attached to it. While the soul is departed from the body, it doesn’t want to see his dear ones in sorrow so it tries to communicate through energies. It sends you energy to be positive, to be hopeful, to be strong. A lot of times, there are self-questions like from where did the strength come. I have felt the energies because without them- accepting and living with the fact wouldn’t have been ever possible. Death taught me a great deal about life. One thing I have learnt about death is how it helped me discover about life, and how much it humbled me. Like a tree out of season, all my layers of beliefs and comforts were stripped away to a point I am left open, vulnerable and in a place where I am taught lessons of truth from life. It showed me how in everyday life we get caught up with what we are doing, what we are gaining, what we are buying. We get caught up rushing, always striving for more and more. I started to think “Why? What is important to me?”
Loss taught me nothing lasts forever and to make the most of what I have in my life here and now. Life is a journey but we always focus on where we are going, missing the beauty in what is – The Present. During these times of pain, one thing I was told by a wise mentor of mine was: “Having guilt over past relationships with loved ones is destructive. We as people only do what our awareness knows at the time. If we knew then what we know now, we wouldn’t have done it. But we didn’t know.” And that have tears of Joy, not of grief; when people dear to us pass away, one thing is, they are dear to us because they have enhanced our lives in some way, maybe in many ways. If people around us have enhanced our lives then we must cherish them joyfully – we should not rue their exit. We should value them for the enhancement they have brought to our lives; for the sweetness and tenderness, they may have shared with us. In some way, at least sometimes, they made you feel complete; they made your life complete. Let their memory always bring tears of joy and love to you, not of grief. Driving yourself into grief and depression means you have not come to terms with the most fundamental aspect of life – mortality. Whether they are good or bad, they all will die. If you had died before them, you would have left them in a bad place – so, please stand up as a human being.
Today I am aware that during loss and grief I became even more reflective about where I am heading and my values in life. Life is unique, our body is our vessel and we all have a purpose to share that is special. I came across some words in my journal that I want to share with you all. Hopefully, these words will resonate with your path to help trigger a breakthrough.
“As you age, your grandfather will die, your father will die; sometimes, your spouse will die. Some people will lose their hair. Some people will even lose their head – this is not a joke. Some people will lose relationships. Some people will lose things, power, position, or money. This is all in preparation for your exit. Your load gets reduced a bit so that when you go, you will go more easily. This is not some philosophy – this is the way life is happening. Because you refuse to look life in the face, you make up your own images in your mind. And you want to make these psychological pictures into a reality. The psychological drama you create will never become a reality. You have to draw the curtain someday. The sooner you are disillusioned, the better. You may come to your senses, or you may become depressed. That is your choice. ”
Forever in my heart,
Always on my mind.
Together again we will be, all in God’s time.
Heaven gained another angel the day you left.
Eternity promises you much-needed rest.
Rest now, I’ll be okay because I carry you with me every single day.